I approached this session with a bit more optimism then last week.. but not much. I don't know why I don't like it so much, well I do ts because I see a blank space of paper and my brain cant just "Let go" (Bursts into song - LET IT GO! LET IT GOOOO!)
There's a careful process I've spent years building up in my head as a ways of coping with processing problems and information that would appear fairly easy for some but really difficult for me to just understand - stupid learning difficulties. So when I'm told "do want ever you want" and "be free" me and my brain go into panic mode of "Oh no! What do we do? I cant just let go and just DO. We need a topic/theme or something so we can process it and think it through!"
It doesn't make much sense but that's the only way I can explain it in words - I feel that there is such a brick wall between me and these stupid automatic drawings and I hate blaming my incapability of doing something on my learning difficulties but I really feel like that they get in the way in these sessions. It just seems that everyone has so much better work and that I'm going at snail pace and have the creative ability of a victim of lobotomy (I wouldn't say two-year-old since in this instance they would have better ideas then me anyway!)
SIGH!!!
So anyway I tried my best and did try to remain positive even though I felt like bursting into tears.
ANYWAY.... Onto the drawings, a lot of the first drawing there was a lot of crosshatches and cubist elements and I definitely that they came from my feeling from the degenerate ideas of being oppressed and caged - that was also how I was feeling.
As we were listening to this very lively jazz/swing degenerate music I tried to capture the liveliness of the music.
Faces kept appearing again...
These set of eyes were really dark and kind of appear out of nowhere in the bright design that I was trying to draw.
Jon then said we should try to make a new design based on what we/our art was about - I was a little confused but thought of something I feel strongly about and tried to design that, in again that square design. It came from my feminist opinions and my disbelief that there are brave courageous women that fought for the vote and improved women s rights, however there are some women that just disregard that and act like the objects of mens desire (wow super feminist) so I wanted to make a design that showed that.
On the left I was going to have my Suffragette and a collection of boards with propaganda surrounding her.
Then on the right I was going to have and stripper maybe (I'm not gonna sugar coat it) and have maybe her dresses like a burlesque dancer or something - I did get the reference for the pose from a pin-up girl poster from the 50's so I might make her a pin-up and maybe not a stripper.
And since I was drawn to the dark eyes that I just happened to draw I was going to have them in the middle, not particularly on the same level as the main part of the design, but placed lower back so to look like someone watching over the change (and maybe be a personification of patriarchy - super duper feminist!)
With this design I felt a lot better on my position but I know we have to keep changing the designs so I'll be sorry to leave this and move onto something different - also its not really linked to what were doing but I'll see if I can come back to this somehow.
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